So.... I’ve made the decision –now it’s time get motivated.
I’m going to run the Girls on the Run 5k with my daughter this year – May of 2011.
Why are you running Sarah? What made you decide now was the time?
The answer to that is 2 fold I suppose.
My daughter participated last year (granted she did not run the entire 5k – maybe less than half actually) but she enjoyed the experience – and she ran with friends. I felt a little left out – and I have NEVER wanted to be the parent who sits on the sideline and watches my child have fun. I want to have fun with her, share with her, and grow with her. So - I want to do this with her. Sometimes I sit back and see how she’s grown and changed and where she is headed in life and I realize that I only have a short amount of time with her, before she grows up, finds boys and dating, drives, and heads off to college. So I’ve always tried to be the best Mom I can be – open her eyes to the world, surround her with people who can show her experiences I can’t and for us to create happy memories together. (Also, so I don’t have to pay for therapy someday over what an “awful” childhood she may have had lol – she’s been a lucky kid especially from the humble beginning we’ve had as a family just she and I)
Secondly, simply to lose weight and be healthier.
A little background about me:
I’ve spent more than half my life trying to lose weight., and I feel that I’m in my final push here – it I can’t get it off.. it may never come off. And I might just have to find a way to be happy with how I look – something I’ve tried unsuccessfully to do over the years. This takes an emotional toll on a person.
---- Personal struggle, weight gain and medical issues below, you can skip it if you don’t want the details – just background, no 5k training details---
In my youth I was an active child, I participated in all sports in middle school - Volleyball, Basketball (my sport of choice), track and field events, cheerleading. We had gym on a regular basis and I have always been an active participant. I enjoyed walking in the fields and woods after school and riding my bike for hours in our neighborhood. I have always enjoyed swimming, walking, participated in soccer one season, ballet for a year. I climbed trees and ran around with my childhood friends. But since I was around 10 or so.. I’ve always had a little more than my fellow friends. In fact I recall when it was time for our ballet recital – the dance instructor was passing out material for our costumes (our parents were required to make them) and she commented to the group.. we gave you the extra Sarah.
I recall working on calorie counting when I was about 11 or 12 with my doctors’ office. I would ride my bike to the doctor downtown Stevensville to weigh in. Oh!, in the summer I think I rode my bike downtown several times a week! Rode it to soccer practice, to the little store that was down there, to the church playground, to the library (all the things I would NEVER let my 11 yr old do today on her own! Geesh). I don’t ever remember seeing the scale move though.. I just remember measuring food and weighing in and feeling frustrated. In High school I was always the “heavy girl” – outweighing my counter parts by 30-40 lbs. Even though I was just as active, and have never been a huge snacker. If you look at my size and weight from 20 years ago – I was a minority.. today – there are girls and teens who easily outweigh what I did back then. In today’s High School – I would be considered more normal – but this wasn’t the case back in my youth. I was not an outcast - I did have a good solid group of friends, many of whom I’ve remained friends with over the years, but I was certainly looked at differently – and didn’t have great confidence in myself ( ie, small group of friends, no dating).
I recall gaining a few pounds with bad eating habits my first year of college – but only 5 or 10 lbs. However, around age 19, I gained 20 lbs in less than 4 months. I went to the Doctor, and because I was working at a bakery – she told me to stop eating what I was working with. That the weight gain was simply over eating and not enough exercise. (truth be told – if you’ve ever worked in the food industry –when you work in and around it all day, you tend to NOT eat it at all – so I knew that was NOT the reason) Around this time – I also started having hormonal issues and abnormal monthly cycles. The Doctor attributed this to stress and gaining weight. I was living away from home (out of state), attending college, living on my own and working 2 part time jobs. They tried a variety of medications including birth control to control issues – and I just kept gaining weight. About 10 lbs a year.
Miraculously – I became pregnant shortly after I was married in 1999. This was unplanned and unexpected at the time, but the best blessing I could ever imagine. I gained a mere 16 lbs with my daughter, managed a separation from my short marriage, a move out of state, premature contractions which led to 1 month of bedrest, gestational diabetes and delivery of a 6 week preemie weighing in at 4 lbs 9 oz and a tiny 16 ¾ inches long. My greatest joy!
I was back down to pre-baby weight and into my pre-baby jeans within 3 weeks! They say anything can change after you have a baby – and so it did. I developed hirsutism (unwanted hair growth) that didn’t go away – and I started normal cycles again.. but this was short lived for only about a year or so. After return of some previous problems – I again went to my doctor (a new one this time, and not a family practice but OB/GYN. She started with the same thing, eat less exercise more.. then follow up.. after my cycles becoming more and more irregular and some now more major complications, an outpatient procedure she began running more tests. Finally after more than 5 years – I received a diagnosis… Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome., sometimes called Syndrome X or Metabolic Syndrome and Insulin resistance. The two are often seen together – one does not mean the other nor cause the other, they just often run hand in hand.
So now with a diagnosis.. what does that mean, where do we go from here? Well – I learned that my pancrease overproduces insulin because my muscles don’t utilize the Insulin that is in my body, and they call for more insulin. When you have an abundance of “unused” insulin in your system – your body simply stores it as fat for later… THANK YOU BODY – for being so proficient in storage. I have classic characteristics of this syndrome – round shape in the middle – with average legs and arms. We have tried various drug combinations and when my doctor moved, I had to start all over again with doctors. It seems like I’ve had to educate any doctor or nurse I speak with about Insulin resistance and that it’s NOT diabetes and also what PCOS is. It’s exhausting at times and most certainly frustrating. I have finally found a Doc who was familiar and treats patients for the issues I have. He’s got some recommendations, some medications we’re trying again. (and maybe this time they’ll work). He’s encouraged me to exercise more – it seems studies are showing 30 min a day or so. This is important since I work a desk job – which means not a lot of movement all day. I’ve asked for help and encouragement before, I’ve attempted to seek out work out buddies, support. Someone to exercise with me to keep me motivated – but times are tough, folks are busy. So a few months ago – I dug down really deep and decided I’m the only one who can get this going.
So.. I’ve been attempting some more exercise, got the Wii Fit, doing some walking – but it’s not enough. So… 5k here I come.
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